Alison Steadman, born in Liverpool in 1946, attended a state grammar school and, as a teenager, often visited the Cavern Club to see the Beatles. She made her stage debut at 22 and became well-known for her roles in various television dramas, including her ex-husband Mike Leigh’s Nuts in May and Abigail’s Party, as well as The Singing Detective, Pride and Prejudice, Fat Friends, and Gavin & Stacey, which is set to return in December for a final Christmas special. Steadman has also appeared in films such as A Private Function, Shirley Valentine, and Life Is Sweet. Her stage performances range from Madame Arcati in Blithe Spirit to Mari in the National Theatre’s The Rise and Fall of Little Voice, for which she won an Olivier Award. Recently, her memoir, Out of Character, was published.
In your new memoir, there’s a contrast between the Alison Steadman who enjoys quietly observing birds in her north London garden and the vibrant characters she portrays—Beverly in Abigail’s Party, Mrs. Bennet in Pride and Prejudice, and Pamela in Gavin & Stacey. Does this contrast ever feel unsettling?
"I love watching my birds every day and seeing what they’re up to. Recently, we filmed the last-ever Gavin & Stacey Christmas special, and it was honestly the best fun. For that, you have to fully immerse yourself in the character, leaving nothing behind. I appreciate the balance between both parts of my life."
You’ve been asked to write memoirs before but have always declined. Why now?
"I’ve avoided it because I prefer to keep my private life to myself. This time, I agreed because I was assured it would focus solely on my career. Some journalists can be intrusive—like the one who followed me in Marks & Spencer to report that I only had a cabbage in my trolley."
From reading the book, you don’t seem like a tortured soul.
"I’ve had a very happy life overall. My relationship with Mike Leigh was positive, and we remain friends. I’m proud of my two wonderful sons and have been with my partner, Michael Elwyn, for 28 years. I also have two grandsons. After spending five weeks away filming Gavin & Stacey, I’m always excited to receive photos of them."
You were the youngest of three sisters growing up in Liverpool. In the book, you mention starting your performing career by dressing in your mother’s fox fur to imitate comedian Hylda Baker. Did you also mimic family members?
"No, my impersonations were mainly inspired by people I’d seen on television or in school. My all-girls grammar school had some remarkable teachers, and I would imitate them in front of my classmates. The laughter always felt as though I was performing on stage."
Have you maintained the habit of observing people?
"Sometimes I get rides to work, but I love taking the tube or bus because that’s real life. I often jot down notes on my phone about interesting outfits I see, like someone wearing red tights and black stiletto heels, so I can remember them later."
"I do think: well, you’re 78, how many more years? But then I think: Oh, just get on with it. Be in the moment."
You mention a breakthrough moment when character Beverly in Abigail’s Party came to life after you chose an orange evening dress.
"Yes, a wonderful tutor at drama school assigned us to swap clothes with someone. After seeing a classmate look fabulous in my clothes, it was a profound lesson in how clothing can express identity."
Are real-life inspirations sometimes the basis for your characters?
"When playing someone like Mrs. Bennet, her eccentricities and panic are written in, but I drew inspiration from my Auntie Mary. I didn’t share that until she passed away because I didn’t want to upset her."
Much of English comedy revolves around class differences. Are you cautious of crossing the line between parody and cruelty?
"Being truthful is essential. When I played Beverly, my focus was on embodying her—not to mock her, but rather to understand her as a lost soul searching for fulfillment."
Have you felt trapped by class?
"I don’t think so. I stay in touch with many people from my past in Liverpool. I come from a suburban home, which provided a solid foundation. Whether meeting the Queen or not, I’ve always known who I am."
You express that from the beginning of Gavin & Stacey, you felt Pamela was a role meant for you. Why is that?
"When I moved from Liverpool to drama school in Essex, I absorbed a lot of the local culture. Ruth and James nailed the writing from the start."
It must be fulfilling to know that at Christmas, families quote Pamela’s catchphrases—“Oh. My. Christ!”—around the dinner table.
"I feel incredibly proud. The last Christmas special reached a huge audience, and people stop me to say how excited they are for Christmas Day. I hope we meet their expectations!"
You mention being called "Unsinkable Molly" at school for your optimistic outlook. Do you ever feel the urge to slow down?
"I’m starting seven new episodes of Here We Go for the BBC soon, which I love, but I’m stepping back from stage work, which I miss. Life has changed with the loss of my parents and sisters, and I do find myself reflecting on how many more years I might have. Still, I choose to focus on the present and enjoy what I have."
So, are you still “Unsinkable Molly”?
"I hope so."
Out of Character: From Abigail’s Party to Gavin & Stacey and Everything in Between by Alison Steadman is published by HarperCollins (£25). To support the Guardian and Observer, order your copy from guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.
